By: Guy Rossi

I consider the following to be a perfect continuation of my last two sermons.. Although I have never told him or anyone else; in my eyes, this man is the unofficial Associate Pastor of the church I’m privileged to serve. Mike Cunningham

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1 Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. 2 Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. 3 For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah 5 I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah Psalm 32:1-5 (ESV)

This morning I am going to share something with you that I have never spoken about publicly. In fact, there are very few people in my life who know what I am about to tell you.

More than 30 years ago during my college years, before the Lord saved me, I did many things that I am now very much ashamed of. At the time my actions seemed acceptable enough, I was not breaking any laws, at least not any laws of social acceptance. My lifestyle was similar to many of my peers and I was quite comfortable with my life. Yet today I stand before you as a man who has been broken by my sins of the past. Today I stand before you a convicted murderer, guilty of a double homicide. Don’t get me wrong, there is not a single court in the United States of America which would find me guilty of the crime I just confessed to. Roe v Wade cleared the way for me to legally kill two of my babies before they took their first breaths. I was not convicted of my crime by any court, but by God Himself. You see, The Lord gave me a new heart, a new mind, eyes to see and ears to hear, He removed the blinders from my eyes and allowed me to see my sin for what it is.

The very fact that I am still alive and speaking to you today is a testimony of God’s great mercy and love toward sinners. Not only has God withheld his wrath, but He has completely and totally forgiven me of all past, present, and future sins through the blood of His Son. Although I have sinned grievously against God, I know that I have been set free from sins penalty. “If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”(1 John 1:9) “For the wages of sin is death but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)

With that said let me tell you a bit about my experience with abortion. First, it was a sinful, selfish lifestyle such as being sexually active outside of the bond of marriage that put me in a situation that led to an abortion decision. Over the course of my time in college I had two serious relationships. One that lasted about a year and half, the other more than 31 years to Carroll my wife and sister in Christ to this very day. Both of these relationships resulted in pregnancies within the first year of the relationship, and both of these relationships had the pregnancies ended by abortion. Back in those days I was living a life without Christ, doing whatever I wanted, living in the lusts of the flesh. It did not bother me that having sexual relations outside the bond of marriage was sinning against God. And the resulting pregnancies, although traumatic and frightening, were easily taken care of by a local abortion clinic. I had no conscience convicting me that I had killed two of God’s children, two of the most innocent and vulnerable of God’s creation. So now, in addition to fornication and many other sins, murder was added to my rap sheet. You would think after the first abortion I would have learned my lesson. I had seen a woman suffer emotionally and physically, shaking like a leaf for days after the abortion, sickened physically and emotionally for many months. Yet just two years later I found myself in the same circumstances, but this time with the woman who would one day be my wife.

At the time of the decision to end the pregnancy I had absolutely zero conscience regarding the life of the child. My view of the unborn child was that it was nothing more than a lump of cells without any identity. I did not recognize the fetus as a living being. And I certainly did not recognize the unborn child as God’s creation, created in His image. I did not realize that abortion was a contradiction of God’s purpose for mankind. In Genesis 1: 27-28 we read: So God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female He created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth……” The very first command given by God to mankind is to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. Yet in the United States of America alone, 1.2 million babies are killed every year. That’s one baby every 26 seconds

137 babies every hour

3,304 babies every day

23,196 babies every week

100,516 babies every month

The decision to abort is diametrically opposed to the command to be fruitful and multiply…It is a decision to kill what God was creating in His image.

I remember the day Carroll found out she was pregnant. She had missed her period and had gone to the doctor for a blood test. The following day Carroll asked me to be with her while she called the doctor to get the results. I remember her saying to the doctor are you absolutely sure? She had a shocked look on her face. She hung up the phone and informed me that the test was positive. Yet she was certain that they had made a mistake, so she picked up the phone again to be sure they had not confused her with someone else. The answer was the same, you’re pregnant.

As I look back at that moment, it should have been a time of great joy, of excitement, of thanksgiving that the Lord has blessed us with a child. But at the time we did not know the Lord, we were living in sin, a sinful lifestyle without any fear of the Lord that had brought about this moment. Today I think if only we had God’s Word stored in our hearts we would not have been in this situation. (Psalm 119:11, I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.) If only we had known what it is to fear the Lord and that children are a blessing from the hand of God. God’s Word says it like this:

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5 (ESV)

Psalm 128: 1-4 “Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.

At the time we did not see our unborn child as a blessing from God, but more of an obstacle that would get in the way of our future plans. So here we were, faced with what to do next. It was decision time. The conversation and thought process behind the decision to abort went something like this. So what are we going do, I asked? Of course this is your decision and I will support you in whatever you decide. It will be hard to raise a child in our current circumstances, we are just getting started with our careers, we will not be able to provide much, our parents are going to have a fit, we’re really not ready to have children, were not even thinking about marriage. But this is your decision and I will support you in whatever you decide.

In hind sight I think What a cop out, what wimp of a man dumps that kind of pressure on his woman. Me! This wimp of an ungodly man. I was completely disconnected from the fact that the child in the womb was not only a part of Carroll, but also a part of me. And the owner and creator of the Child is God Himself. Carroll did not have the right to choose between life and death; I did not have the right to choose between life and death. That child belonged to God, it was He who was knitting that life together in her womb. (Psalm 139: 13 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.”)

As a father I was supposed to be the protector of both Carroll and our unborn baby, and raise the child in the fear and admonition of the Lord. But instead it was decided that the child would be a hindrance to our future plans. So death was chosen. How selfish, self-centered, ashamed and broken hearted I am that I could do this and dishonor my Lord. According to a recent poll the top two reasons affecting the decision to have an abortion are; 1) having a baby would interfere with work, school, or other responsibilities, and 2) Cannot afford to have a child.

These reasons for an abortion stand in stark contrast to what God’s Word tells us about Man being created in His image and the blessing of children. Many of us grew up in households where our parents struggled to put food on the table, but they choose life for us. Many of our parents had their lives redirected from what they had planned in order to raise us. They did not choose death for their unborn child to pursue their career or education. A selfish and self-centered view of life, one void of the fear of God led Carroll and I to make the decision to have an abortion.

As time went on Carroll and I became engaged and were married in October of 1982. After our marriage Carroll desperately wanted to be a mother, so we began trying to have a child, but there was a problem. Carroll’s periods had become increasingly irregular since the abortion and she had been experiencing hot flashes. At just 27 years old we were not sure what was going on, so we went to see an endocrinologist. After extensive testing the news we received was devastating, Carroll was in early menopause. The endocrinologist told us she had no eggs left, that she would never be able to bear a child. The Lord had closed her womb.

Shortly after this experience we decided that we would pursue a child through adoption. Usually adoptions take many years and are very expensive, but in our case we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy in just 6 months time and at very little expense. Praise be to God!

The circumstances behind the adoption of our son Travis are very interesting. A high school girl in her teens had become pregnant and went to see a gynecologist hoping to abort the child. It just so happens that the gynecologist was a Christian woman who convinced the girl that the only right thing to do would be to continue the pregnancy and give birth – which she did and blessed us with a son.

I am so grateful to the Lord for putting a God fearing woman into this young ladies life. I am grateful that she didn’t go to an abortion clinic like Planned Parenthood for advice, but to someone who understood how precious life is. I look at our son today (who will be 27 in December), and I praise God for preserving his life.

Allow me to share with you a recent phone conversation I had with my son. Early yesterday morning as I was finishing up this message the phone rang, and it was my Son Travis. Travis did not know that Carroll and I had an abortion more than 30 years ago. For the first time I shared the account with him that I just shared with you today. Six weeks prior to this phone call Travis had come into my office at work with a great big smile on his face, so I asked him what the smile was about. He said to me, “Congratulations, you’re going to be a Grand Daddy.” My first reaction was not joy, but concern. My son who is not married is having a baby. Then my concern turned to joy as I realized that my son had no thoughts of ending his baby’s life as I had done to my baby. He was excited and prepared to care for his baby. So I congratulated him and preached a little to him about his responsibility as a father and future husband. Travis is engaged to be married this spring.

Well back to the phone call. After sharing with Travis my abortion experience, I told him how proud I was that he had chosen life for his baby. I told him that he was far more of man than I was at his age. I chose death for my baby, Travis chose life.

As I think back to my abortion experience I wish that someone would have told me that abortion is wrong and that every child deserves to be born. That God is the creator and sustainer and owner of all life; that every child in the womb is being created in His image, and being knit together by His hands, and that abortion is killing the most innocent and vulnerable members of our society.

I praise God for organizations like CareNet, that stand up for the rights of these children, and who point mothers’ hearts to Christ. By doing this lives are saved but must importantly many are shown the way to eternal life in Jesus Christ. To God be the Glory!